Thoughts on making mistakes.

Have you ever done something that you wished you hadn't? I really mean that, has there ever been a moments that you wished you could hit the rewind button and go back and let it play out in a different way. Bad consequences make spur of the moment life decisions hard. It's like one minute you are enjoying yourself in that moment only to wake up and have the rug pulled out from under you and BAM! You are in deep deep dookie. (Sorry for the kindergarten talk.)

This past week I was feeling overwhelmed a little bit and just stressed with some stuff in my life. I lost the feeling to really do anything and just seemed to float through the week. I started to notice and kept telling myself I needed to pick up the slack or wake up. The sad thing is, I was good at acting like I was going through it all but really I was somewhat going through the emotions. Well that all caught up to me this weekend. Now I am at a lost on what will happen and what to do...

Here are my thoughts; I am going to face them. All my troubles head on. No more running, no more being afraid of the outcome and not facing them. No matter how hard things get or how hard things will be I have no other choice but to face them. To apologize where I need to apologize and face the consequences and out come what ever they may be. It’s easy to say these things, but a whole lot harder to live them out. I am praying that I am able to be a man of character, a man of God and face my trouble, knowing that God has my back and its not His fault that I am going through hardships but my own. Although it is my fault I know that the Lord is there and I won't have to face these things alone.

These are just a few thoughts I have been processing.

Thoughts at the moment...

My mind is all over the place right now. Even as I sit at work I find my mind jumping from one thing to another and this makes it very hard to write about one specific something. So instead I am just going to list a few things that have been on my mind.

Ministry
I am a Jr. High Pastor at North Ridge Community Church and really enjoy the role that I fill at the church. I have some amazing Jr. High students and felt great joy watching them sit in church this past Sunday taking notes and listening to one our pastors teach. It was even cooler to get a prayer card from one of my 6th grade guys asking for prayer for his walk with God. It is truly a blessing to see these young followers of Christ in their walk with the Lord.

I am praying that God continues to grow me and mature me as I continue to do the work that I feel He has called me to do. To shepherd these students and walk alongside them as they began to discover not only who they are but who they are in Christ.

Relationships
These past couple weeks the college group I go to has been going through this series on relationships. It has been some really challenging stuff to think about. It goes along with some of the stuff I have been wrestling with in my own life of "What does a healthy relationship look like". Some of the stuff has been challenging to hear but all of it has been thought provoking and hitting close to home. I am still no where near figuring out relationship stuff that confuses me. But I am really enjoying the journey that God is taking me on to understand it better.

I am praying that in any relationship I might have in my life whether that be dating, friendship, family and even with my students. I desire them to all to look like the relationship I have with my Savior. After all it is the best model of what a healthy relationship looks like.

My Past
This is something that I am always wrestling with no matter where I am at in my life. My past failures, my past triumphs, my past hurts, my past joys etc... There is always plenty of things to think about when it comes to this but I will share more on this in another entry.

Just a few of my thoughts.

Thoughts on awkward situations...

Have you ever found yourself in situation and you just weren't sure what to do? You know a moment where no matter what you do or how you act things are just going to be "awkward". I found myself in one of those the other night. (Long story short I ran into my old girlfriend and her new boyfriend three times in the span of a two minutes. It was interesting.)

What do you do in this situations? How does one handle them?  That I am not sure, I somewhat think that my life is full awkward moments that when I look back at all I can do is just laugh at and share with my friends. Here are few awkward moments from my life.

-I swore at my first parents meeting as the new Jr. High pastor at my church. (No worries it was an accident)
-The first wedding I did for my brother and sister in law. I called the bride by the wrong name during the ceremony. (Thank the Lord she didn't turn into bridezilla)
-I once compared a girl I was dating to Tupperware. (It sounded a lot better in my head before it came out)
-My pants started falling down while I was on stage during my 9th grade production of the Wizard of Oz (I was the Tin man)
There are more but I will save them for another time.

After all the awkward situations I have faced this far in my life I have found the best way to handle is this: Face them head, running from them is only going to make things more awkward and weird for everyone. Just laugh at them! I mean just laugh, find some friends to share this awkward moment with and laugh together. I know that after all these "awkward" events I have laughed about them later with friends those laughs make it all worth it (Plus they make for good stories and object lesson during a sermon for any age.. If you can't change things why not just embrace them and enjoy its going to be one crazy ride. (Special thanks to Sam Cook and Lindsey Blowers for sharing in my most recent awkward moment)

Thoughts on "Car Accidents"

Today has been a rough day to say the least. You ever wake up and get some kind of sign that this day is going to be rough. I was greeted with such omen this morning when I woke to my mom's text asking me to pray for her today. Now normally some might find this sweet; one mother asking their son to pray for her. But to me it just kind of started my day off weird. Now before you get all crazy and start thinking "Gus do you not love your mom?" or "Gus what do you have against praying?" Let me set the record straight and say I love my mom very much and and am always praying for her. But when my mom does something she normally doesn't do that is a red flag to me.

So today I went in to church and had to film some video announcements with another pastor Randy Williams or as I call him "Chief". So Chief and I go and film after we are done I head back to church to work on a few things. Well as  am driving back  the accident happens. ( I will spare you all the details, but know everyone is safe and there were no injuries. Well except to "Ellie" thats my car's name. Long story short I exchange info with the lady who's care I hit and the cop issues me a citation because I was at fault.

This didn't upset me though, what really bothered me was the feeling that followed after the accident happen. I just stood there, as the accident played in my head over and over again. I even began to think "man if I had stayed longer at the place "Chief" and I filmed", or "what if I we had ridden in one car that way I didn't drive." With all these thought  I found myself hanging my head down and just asking "Why, why did this have to happen?"

When I got home, just sat on the couch and began to think a lot. I began to worry about how I am going to pay for all this, or how am I going to get to work now? I felt so overwhelmed with all these thoughts and even more stressed out. I just found myself completely exhausted after beating myself up with my own thoughts.

Later on I went out to get something to eat for my mom and I (she let me drive her car, but not after telling me five times before I left the house to BE CAREFUL!!). I came back with dinner and we sat down and we prayed for our food, it was then that it all hit me and I just thank God. I thank God for keeping me safe, for keeping the people in the other car safe. For letting me even make it home with my mangled car. I thanked Him for being in my life and ultimately asked for help in all this because I know I can't do it alone. I finally found myself at peace after everything that happen.

The feeling that follows any tough time such as a car accident can be draining and sticks with you well after the actual event. Tonight though I am just thankful that no matter what hard thing comes into my life. God has and will guide me through them all. For that I feel completely at peace about.

Oh, and one final thing if your mom ever texts you randomly, be on the look out. Because that women knew when trouble was around you when you were little and they still sense that stuff even when you are older.

Just a thought.